a full note

I'm sorry. that would be my last word I would picture after all things happened.
everything that I think you are dealing with, have been settled. so much you said.

so much hatred I have put inside all of the people around me. so much thoughts I've heard from people. so much anger I hid all the way. so much I tried to learn, I failed. and that was enough.
I can probably say I can't be happy anymore, because I wasn't born to be an impostor of what I think I should be around the people that I love. it's the matter of time. I could be different in a second but once you can bear with it, without asking what do I mean, I would be the happiest amongst us. if it isn't, at least for me.

 that is why I need you.

I hate myself

looking at those self harming picture reminds me a lot about her, and myself. but life happened to be different. impede myself with my own past world, impinge upon my imagination, immorality has been made up since you being different as what I have known you. I will take all the considerations to make a move, as how comparison between me, myself and I should be made to enforce barrier you created. sometimes I miss you, you have a beautiful, modesty of yourself hid inside your heart, closed behind your egos, carried by situations.

 I once used to call you Radio. if you remember.