depletion

I'm coming home this weekend. I have to do some meditation, before the upcoming weeks.

my life is sorrow and full of happiness in dark, I wish I have an ability to go an astral travel. meet some new dead friends. exciting isn't? sometimes I feel that I have gone too far but I'm not satisfied yet. but I miss my time, to grow my love towards You, need a lot of sacrifice. I'm afraid.

people call love but I call it 'life'.

just a drop

hello people, like I haven't updated my blog since I left home. there is no poetry, word or what so ever. I wanna make a conclusion here from what I've been through in PASUM till now. nevertheless, it is not all, just a drop.

a smile can give a thousand smile.

eyes never leave heart, but sight sometimes does.

you will never get what u want, until u know how to get what u really want.

new smile

may peace be upon all of you.

well enough for me to think about the past, the passed things that will never return. such a darkness blog really, I don't really have time to find another layout for my blog (actually I have, but I wasted it) so now I managed to make it ha ha*template from blogger je pun, pemalas.

dan aku juga akan pergi ke universiti, seperti rakan rakan yang lain. aku terpaksa menelan pahit sidikit masa dahulu, dan aku juga menghentak bumi dan menangis. aku bukan harapkan ucapan, tetapi doa pada masa akan datang kerana aku tahu aku bukanlah yang terbaik untuk selamanya.

jam sudah tidak bernombor lagi. ini semua gara gara masa!

apa lagi

aku mudah berhati hati, mungkin, dalam pelbagai segi, atau mungkin sebahagiannya sahaja. tak perlu kau membuat pengertian tentang ensiklopedia hati, kerana corak pemikiran aku bukanlah datangnya dari diri, tapi dari akal dan hati. aku tak perlu diari untuk menyimpan memori tetapi kadang kadang aku perlukan diari untuk mengimplimentasi imbasan memori.

tiada eksepsi. cuma sendiri.

it has crave defects

when someone tells u something, do u give all eyes and ears to them? or u just to fall on deaf ears when they start to speak? or u already have intention to object what they will be gon' to tell u? that is who are you.

I miss to say 'I love you'. not because I don't have anyone to be loved to, just I need to go back to the past and say it again. my heart is stubborn, and weak as it stands only with a word heart. I had a tough time though to find myself actually. and my thought was if I have known myself, there's no problems to describe myself even in a sentence. but my assumption is wrong and my strength has loosen.

here we go, Cikgu Zaid. Idk what should I call him. he is the best man I've ever met, super duper cool. his thought is always about how will his student be when they left the school. I adore his experiences, watching people converting to Islam, went to the every mosque on this Earth as he can, met people and says the good deeds (tabligh) and asked them to do the deeds (da'wah), his speech even has a lil bit weakness on him as he likes to mock his student (to make them feel offended and change) and his care to his student.

he is supposed to be my mentor. I'm not saying that Ustaz is my exception to me but only in certain extent :)

saya memang tak hensem jangan tengok gambar saya lama lama

sometimes I sinned too

I don't say that all the best thing is compulsory to be done. I do sunnah but I forget wajib. I don't know why some people look at something that is not really important and make it looks like when u missed to do, it's weird? sometimes I need time to figure my own things first, my abilities. Allah already know what will happen and that would make me wonder and hope that the bad things won't happen to me, so I pray and ask for forgiveness from Him. May Allah give me Hidayah to stand still on His path.

to the star if I really want it

"..macam mana kamu tengok orang ramai ada yang gembira berpelukan ada yang sedih menangis, macam itulah nanti kita di padang mashar. sangat seronok apabila buku catatan diserahkan melalui tangan kanan tetapi sebaliknya apabila buku catatan diterima melalui tangan kiri, malah ada yang lebih teruk daripada tu.." cikgu zaid.

it's all gifts from Allah and all praises be upon Him. but guys SPM is not like the end of the world, maybe it looks like that but take it as a stepping stone for you to keep moving on. don't pretend that u have lost everything, that's why I'd like to say keberkatan result tu yang penting because I heard many people didn't perform well in their SPM but later they're kind of successful people. one thing I'd like to tell u guys, for those who got straight A's pun they can't stop here, everyone is going to further their study and struggle again so what's the difference? study for the improvement of ummah and get the best for the next okay. may Allah show us the path of those whom Thou hast favoured.

straight A's pun bukan boleh masuk syurga kalau tak amal agama.