You

Had I wondered what did I do so wrong. If you never put a thought into words so clearly that there will be no misunderstandings. You never made promises, but phrases that I mistakenly read. I had lost my years of being empty, then it started to fill me again. You said you would root for me. Hence it was all a lie. It is funny how someone who is pretending to have a pure heart would lie, too. Since happiness is our own responsibility. I did once hold it with my wounded arms but would it be the same again when it got infected after you touched it? 

I believe, you said "think before you do, because it will backfire on you." so I guess my worry about you had got me. I feel bad because I cared too much. I feel bad for you, too, for not realizing how far I had gone. One day you'll never find this sincere apology again because, after this, you'll be sorry for what you had done, and said.

I had made mistakes, I realized and I apologised, but have you, pretty angel?

Senses

Masyarakat kini terkesan dengan pelbagai suasana. Lebih lebih lagi suasana digital kini yang menjadi budaya hampir kesemua peringkat struktur sosial. Hanya berada di dalam bilik yang sempit, pemikiran kita mampu untuk pergi jauh ke seluruh dunia. Maka terbentuklah persepsi yang semakin lama semakin membentuk diri kita. Suasana suasana ini sebenarnya berada dalam satu tempat yang sama dan hanya dipisahkan dengan akal. Tempat yang dimaksudkan itu jijik, tetapi disanjung oleh sesetengah golongan yang menjadikan ia sebagai tempat untuk melarikan fikiran daripada perkara yang sangat penting. Maka, terbiarlah perkara yang sangat penting itu membusuk walaupun ia berada dekat dengan diri kita sendiri. Akhirnya, our senses to connect with our surrounding world are dead.

Sebenarnya, kita hidup di dalam dunia yang mana?

Bioweapon

Throughout history, COVID-19 caused by SARS-COV-2 is the most famous disease, not because it is the worst nor its epidemic status, but it appears when the internet is a thing. The spreading of news is so overwhelmed, that conspirators use this chance to prove their theory. There is much news relating to viruses and bioweapons. Before I go further, I want to say that I believe in bioweapon but I can't accept speculations. Some people perceive information and believe what they want to believe (there was an entry that I posted about why people believe conspiracy theory). When talking about bioweapon, this is not new. Conspiracy theory rekindles when there is an opportunity, just like what is happening at the moment.

SARS-COV-2 is not a bioweapon because there is no reason to use bioweapon when there is no war on a global scale. Even if it is, what is the reason that people around the world get infected? In fact, bioweapon generally, using an established organism and culture it on a large scale. This mass production is later used to infect specific places, but not spreading it around the globe. Even if they want to kill the global population, they will achieve nothing. Let's do some math to prove. Let take the Spanish flu, the worst epidemic that infects 500 million people, that took the lives of 50 million people. The global population in the 1900s is around 2 billion. The death percentage is around 2.5%. Killing 2.5% population is not a success. Thanos, however, did 20 times better, he killed 50% of the universe's population. Therefore, using bioweapon and make it pandemic is not an acceptable reason. Since SARS-COV-2 is a novel species of virus and as a biologist, I really know that creating cells from nucleic acid and make them functional is not easy. Ever since a successful human genome project in early 2000, J. Craig Venter and his team have made a synthetic genome and plant it inside empty bacterial cells. They are not even building their own cells, or RNA, which viral genetic materials have yet to be manipulated. Yes, potential 'reconstruction' of genetic materials of virus can be developed but it requires a lot of effort, time, money, and to make the viral genetic functional is a challenge and nobody in the world has achieved it to my knowledge. It "may" be convincing too for those who believe in conspiracy. If so, then expose those who synthesized the genetic materials for SARS-COV-2 and why it is created as a bioweapon? I tell you this is impossible. 

After all, saying this SARS-COV-2 is a bioweapon is not helping society. It is not even benefiting people who believe it and it is pointless at every level. This entry is very general, I don't mind if people still believe this whole thing is a bioweapon and conspiracy. I know these guys wanted to gain this "I know better than you" kind of thing, but maybe if you channel it to something useful, it can benefit you and society.

Frontliners are struggling to help us, so please don't make it worst by spreading nonsense theory. 

New Generation Scientist

Science has evolved so fast for last two decades ever since the introduction of technologies (e.g. high throughput sequencing, superpower computer, mobile technologies, etc.). Everything in silico produces so much information and develops new ideas. Such great leaps we are not able to catch up. Even we grew up surrounded by technologies, or watch them developed, we still can't understand the knowledge behind it. Simply, we still lag behind especially the philosophy in all related matters. But I think I have found some important notes to take. I probably am trying to take it, but somehow, when you grew up, there is so little time to master what you should 10 years ago. Therefore I leave it here for our future scientists as a guidance.

First and foremost, plan a strategy as earliest as possible. Everyone has their own passion towards certain subject in life. Generally, either you love science or arts, focus on the matter of basic principle of the subject. As you grow up, focus on one specific topic you want to master because if you mixed up, you can't reach the top notch of that particular field. However, you can't also forget the other knowledge. Master on one field, increase the others. Secondly, be a man of principle. Gather the facts, and be free to hold onto it. Young people have so many ideas that somehow loss in the air. Then, if you have something brilliant to throw, use proper platform to tell people. In the end of day, you will be brave enough to gain confidence and integrity. Science is not an old game, it is now a realm, which so many brilliant minds put together to govern the world. From now on, don't just let yourself investigate science, but to master it.

Let's do this.

We lost our minds

In this expanding world of science and technologies, humankind has thrived to be at the top of each other. That's our nature. But in general, technological advances have already made us human, weak.

At some point, people are attached to their gadgets more than to real humans. Approximately, humans spend 11 hours being on their gadgets, be it on a computer or phone. Roughly people slept 8 hours a day. That's a 19 hours disconnection period with the real world. Four hours are not enough for a person to do other things. Therefore the human need to calm and rethink their lives. Immersing in the beauty of the technologies are not a failure. Depending on what we are doing. Some people need to use their gadgets for their life and it is okay.

Free time has been filled with screen on time, the feelings are now obliged to share with people through social media, looking for support and fame, but hatred and disparaged are also allowed. Somehow, the life structure of humankind had changed. We tried to be better every day, whilst support is not real. We compare and succumb to these technologies to a certain extent. Then, we think we have found a miracle.

Pointing out this topic, sometimes, we lost our minds. Which means, we distract ourselves from being left alone. We have a lack of sensible, sensing our surroundings is the least we can do. Whenever we talk, we refuse the eye-contact, showing our uninterested-ness. We prefer to look down on our phone with no aims. nursing our desire to pursue life without aims. Henceforth, we forget why we are in this world. This is why we lost our minds and losing the mind is the weakest attribute in the world.

These days, we can't refuse to use technologies, and morally speaking, we can use it on purpose. If there is nothing we need to do, go outside, plant a tree and nurture them and watch them grow. Go to bookstore and buy some books to read, have some coffee break with friends and do the talking. Immerse ourselves with nature, go out and be adventurous.

Jadikan ia hamba, bukan menjadi hamba.

Angin

Setelah hampir setahun gua menghilang, akhirnya angin gua untuk menulis telah kembali. Mungkin agak terlalu lama tidak menjengah diari yang semakin di tua ini, namun selepas ini gua pasti akan kerap membaca dan menulis lagi.

Sebagai diari.

Story of The Gene

Gene has been known to encode protein in all living forms as if a script that we share in common, maintained, and passed from our parents to us and to our children and so on. Sometimes some of the words are missing at random places, making each of us a little different from others but we still understand the story. We are made from that script, however we refuse to follow the script at some point because we all have choices. Maybe from chances that our scripts are altered, we are all abnormal, incomplete and damaged. Is that a test from nature or some kind of vengeance from our predecessor? If we are abnormal and damaged, should we fight against it or should we keep blaming the shortcomings?

Gene formed chapter of story which shaped us, then we read and rebel. Simply because we are confused. We don't believe in fate or we may call it, a random alterations that we have no power over it. Yet, we are brag and boast as if we know how the world works. For some people who are wise, they think that maybe the ink that stick on the script or the script itself has been through a very tough journey to reach us as individual. Hence, they appreciate their flaws, respect others and learn to be like what from original and normal scripts would say - and how would they knew the "normal" one?

Scientist can't find evidence of what make up soul, intelligence and human sense. Even in a gene, the result is in subtle proportion or chance. In other words, we failed to prove. So, we are just what we are and the truth is, we all have different disorders, because we are incomplete scripts. We are all damaged. That is where intelligence plays its role, to get to know about them, and make them "normal". That is what make us different from animals. Today let me leave you an assignment to find out what is "normal".

Be a good human based on "normalcy" and be a good soul based on religion.