Passion/s

This morning I was thinking about what I did during my free time. I thought time is priceless so we should not waste any of it but as we grow up, I guess it becomes even terrifying. Whenever I look at my watch, questions that appear in my mind is how much I have done for today or what am I going to do after this. I realized that I have spent almost all of my time thinking about my studies, laboratory works, and worrying about my future. I thought studying is my passion; learning something from academic books or journals and try to apply them in the laboratory, not to mention the failure along the way. I also thought that failures and successes are normal. In this situation, having a thought that failure and success are normal was nonetheless made me burnt out. I felt that time has frozen and I could not move forward. Then I found out that actually, we should never be doing our specific passion until we burnt out. In my case, focusing on a single passion is not right. I should stop whenever I feel weak at one passion and move along with another before going back again to the first. I know I do not have so much passion so I guess it is time to build one, or two. Although I did love doing other things, this time, I should spend my time evenly. I really need to spend my money to do other things as well. I need that grit to do things, and I should start now. 

I hope that I won't get anxious, again.

Life is tiring

I have a lot in my mind which I want to put them in my blog. I want to express things the way I used to but becoming an adult is tiring. You have to worry about many things, which sometimes it doesn't give you any good in return. I am also a postgraduate now, and the tasks are overwhelming. I can't even have proper lunch or even go to the bathroom during my laboratory session. In fact, I am working in four different labs a day, time is always the issue, especially during this COVID-19 situation. I had to, sometimes, run to get to the other lab. Probably I will rant about the reality of being a postgraduate in a local university some other time. Anyway, time is running out and life must go on even how tired you are. I just need to remind myself to have a break when things get haywire. Also, I need to be consistent with whatever routine or hobby I have now.

That includes writing in this old blog.